Closing Time: Every New Beginning Comes from Some Other Beginnings End.

APEC Meeting with Prime Minister Harper

When I received a phone call from Terry asking me to be on the APEC 2011 team back in September, I was on an incredible high. 

I wanted this opportunity. I wanted to make it there since the Pan-Atlantic Youth Forum when Terry was hot off the plane from Yokohomo  (APEC 2010) and spoke of the individuals who had just been to APEC.  I had wanted to be one of those people.  I remember signing up on MyGlobalVision.com and seeing the teams blog posts about the sort of opportunity that they had and known that I wanted it.  Perhaps at the time it was a want driven by the ambition to be successful and not necessarily an interest or understanding in what APEC was all about.  I just knew that’s where the top were and that’s where I wanted to be.

Over time, I began to realize what APEC really was all about.  The trade mission to Indonesia and Malaysia this summer made me realize that it wouldn’t be as simple as studying hard and getting an A+.  In order to get there I needed to actually deliver.  I needed to develop the skills and understanding of how things actually work in the business world; networking, approaching intimidating top executives and getting their business cards, following up, and keeping those important connections that you can carry with you throughout your whole life.

As we began to get mandates and had to find sponsors I started to get a pit feeling in my stomach every time I thought about it.  I think this feeling was a combination of excitement for something I had wanted so badly to get the opportunity to do and the fear that I wouldn’t be able to live up to expectations.  Having met some of last year’s team I saw the kind of individuals they were and the kind of presence they had when they entered a room. I knew I wasn’t like them.  I was partially there but I wasn’t fully there.  And to me I completely second guessed whether I should have accepted the position on the team.  I’m not a quitter either, so the thought of calling Terry and making him aware of my anxious feelings wasn’t an option because showing even a small ounce of doubt might compromise my spot on the team and I was more willing to turn myself into the individual who COULD deliver rather than call him back and explain my feelings. 

Stress continued to pile on as midterms and research papers had to be completed while juggling the demands of being on the team.  But the closer it got to the day we left, the more I became ready to take it on and leave all of the fears behind me.  When my plane took off in St. John’s that Sunday morning, I left behind all of those fears and any work outstanding at home and school.  My focus WAS at APEC. It had to be.

Meeting up with the rest of the team members and finally arriving in Honolulu gave me a huge adrenaline rush.  Overcoming the initial challenges of even the flight to Hawaii could have been said to be foreshadowing of the challenges we would have to overcome during the actual CEO summit.  This comes as no surprise however, because most paths on the LTR involve overcoming a myriad of challenges to reap large benefits.  There’s no free lunch.

As I was getting dressed the morning of the CEO summit, I looked at myself in the mirror and continuously asked myself if I looked ready to go take on these mandates.  I wanted to blend in and be accepted as a professional but stand out as a youth.  That was no easy task.

My first conversation with one of our main targets was really the defining moment for me at the APEC summit.  I managed to talk my way through it keeping in mind the talking points we had practised and gotten the business card. Immediately the confidence I had approaching every other CEO was through the roof.  It seemed more like a fun game that I wanted to win at every time rather than an intimidating challenge;  Go in, create a personalized conversation with that person, and swap business cards.  It wasn’t as easy as I make that sound but throughout the week I would certainly say that it got easier. This was clearly the result of the quick hands on experience that was gained over the last week.  Speaking with the Prime Minister during a debriefing session was a true test of how the team could handle the pressure as we had limited time and a lot of ground to cover.  We had to be succinct but descriptive. Yeah… try accomplishing that as an amateur. This as well was no easy task but our team delivered and hit most of the main points we had prepared.

And even now as I type this on a beautiful paradise of a beach in Hawaii, I’m smiling because at a few tables over from me, one of my teammates on this mission has just ran into someone they met during the summit but was unable to get a business card from.  They just got it.  We have developed into individuals who are not just students but professionals; not on the MTR but the LTR; not naïve but experienced; not rookies but graduates.  We have gained the skills and understanding of what it means to be a closer.  This summit will impact the rest of my life the same way all of the other journeys with Global Vision has done.  This one much more substantial than most though.  This summit, the one initially described to me as a “trade mission on acid” has been so incredible that even these feelings I am writing do not reflect the actual feeling of empowerment, confidence, and pride that swells inside of me.

I also smile now thinking about the fear that I felt shortly after being asked to be on the team.  I was right to feel scared.  I wasn’t of the same caliber as last year’s team members, but little did I understand that last year at the same time neither were they.  They weren’t chosen to be on the team because they were born naturally awesome at being the networkers or speakers that they are now.  They were chosen because they had the drive to make it happen and grow into who they are today.  As Terry had said yesterday during a debriefing after the Prime Minister’s meeting, we are not the same young professionals who got off the plane five days ago.  We are far beyond that.  There is nothing that we cannot take on now with confidence that we haven’t similarly tackled in the past.

To Terry & Ann, my supporters, my sponsors, my JTC family, and the four AMAZING individuals who I had the pleasure of being on a team with – Connor, Marianne, Arlen, and Adam- I am forever grateful. Your impact on my life is everlasting and dominant in all of the significant memories that I hold closest to me . Here’s to the biggest understatement of the year: Thank You for everything – because words cannot even begin to describe my feelings of gratitude toward you all.